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Tom's Place

For 1-31-2006

Tom's Pic of the Week
Judge Ken Starr and Tom Marsland
Judge Ken Starr and me having a chuckle
 
Sue and I join Dr. Bill & Joyce Harley in San Francisco this weekend for
The Marriage Builders® Weekend
 
News...

Special thanks to The Washington Times for today's headlines!

U.S., allies demand Hamas changes The United States and its allies said yesterday that they would support the new Hamas-led Palestinian government only if it renounces violence, accepts Israel's existence and adopts the Palestinian Authority's commitments. The Bush administration, which first pushed the three conditions for the radical Islamic movement, won the backing of the European Union, Russia and the United Nations at a meeting of the so-called "Quartet" in London last night. Hamas last week won an overwhelming parliamentary victory, scrambling the calculations for the U.S.-backed Israeli-Palestinian peace process. "The Quartet concluded that it was inevitable that future assistance to any new government would be reviewed by donors against that government's commitment to the principles of nonviolence, recognition of Israel and acceptance of previous agreements and obligations," the participants said. They also called on the new Palestinian legislature to elect a Cabinet that is "committed to these principles."
 
Hamas won't yield on Jewish state Hamas will not alter its charter calling for Israel's destruction despite U.S., European and U.N. demands tying new aid to recognition of the Jewish state's right to exist, a top spokesman for the radical Islamic movement insisted yesterday. Hamas, fresh from a dominating win in last week's Palestinian parliamentary vote, also said moves by Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas to seize authority over all four security services are illegal and will be tackled once a new government is formed. "There is no way that Hamas is going to change its position and its charter," Hamas chief spokesman Sami Abu Zohri told The Washington Times in Gaza last night. Hamas' victory ended 11 years of dominance by its rival, Fatah, though Fatah's leader, Mr. Abbas, has three more years in office as president of the Palestinian Authority.
 
Liberal activists promote a ruckus to silence Bush Make noise, not war. Liberal activists -- among them graying leftovers from the Vietnam-era antiwar movement -- plan to gather near the Capitol tonight, banging pots and pans to drown out President Bush's State of the Union address. Yesterday, opponents of the Iraq war kicked off their latest round of demonstrations with an "Impeachment Forum" held downtown in a private dining room at Busboys and Poets.
 
Featured speakers were 78-year-old former U.S. Attorney General Ramsey Clark; longtime war protester Marcus Raskin, 71, who is head of the Institute for Policy Studies; and Cindy Sheehan, mother of an American soldier killed in Iraq. Mrs. Sheehan -- who became famous last year for staking out the president's ranch in Crawford, Texas, and just returned from a visit with Venezuelan anti-American President Hugo Chavez -- plans to speak tonight to protesters at the Capitol Reflecting Pool. Last week, the group "World Can't Wait -- Drive Out the Bush Regime" was denied a permit to gather on the Mall for security reasons. The group won a federal lawsuit and has been given permission to bang away while Mr. Bush speaks to a joint session of Congress at 9 p.m.
 
The group's Web site has gathered endorsements from left-leaning celebrities such as Susan Sarandon, Jane Fonda, Harry Belafonte and Sean Penn, but it's unlikely that any stars will show up for tonight's protest.
 
Ohio sheriff bills U.S. government for jailed illegals An Ohio sheriff has billed the Department of Homeland Security $125,000 for the cost of jailing illegal aliens arrested on criminal charges in his county, saying he's angry that the federal government has failed in its responsibility to keep them out of the United States. Butler County Sheriff Richard K. Jones yesterday said that although the government may not be legally obligated to pay the three bills he has sent since November, he intends to send similar ones every month until the federal government gains control of the border. He said 900 foreign-born inmates have been booked into the crowded Butler County jail in the past year. "Why should Butler County taxpayers have to pay for jail costs associated with people we don't believe should ever have been in this country, let alone this state or county, to begin with?" Sheriff Jones said. "They are in my jail because they have committed crimes here. "It's time the federal government should at least pay for the criminals they let stay here," he said. "If they don't want to pay for them, then they can deport them."
 
Exxon's quarterly profit of $10.7 billion a record Exxon Mobil Corp., the world's largest publicly traded oil company, reported a record quarterly profit of $10.7 billion yesterday, capping the most profitable year in U.S. corporate history. The results pushed up Exxon's profit for the year to a record $36.13 billion -- bigger than the economies of 125 of the 184 countries ranked by the World Bank.
 
The results exceeded Wall Street expectations, and Exxon shares rose, but some lawmakers expressed outrage at the industry's latest profit surge, renewing calls for a windfall profits tax and increased investment in alternative fuels. Exxon's profit for the year was the largest annual reported net income in U.S. history, said Howard Silverblatt, a senior index analyst for Standard & Poor's. He said the previous high was Exxon's $25.3 billion profit in 2004. "What do you expect when you combine record oil and gas prices and strong operations everywhere else?" asked analyst Fadel Gheit at Oppenheimer & Co. "Unless prices collapse, earnings in 2006 will make 2005 look like a cakewalk."
 
Annual revenue grew to $371 billion from $298.04 billion -- exceeding Saudi Arabia's estimated 2005 gross domestic product of $340.5 billion, according to statistics maintained by the CIA. Exxon Mobil probably will dethrone Wal-Mart Stores Inc. from atop the Fortune 500 when it is released this spring. Wal-Mart, whose fiscal year runs through January, had $290.29 billion in revenue through December.  Remarkable!
 
Senate rejects filibuster of Alito A broad, bipartisan majority in the Senate easily thwarted an effort yesterday by Democrats to lodge a filibuster against the Supreme Court nomination of Judge Samuel A. Alito Jr. The 72-25 vote cleared the way for the New Jersey native to be confirmed today as the 110th justice of the U.S. Supreme Court.
 
"A bipartisan majority of senators embraced the principle of a fair, up-or-down vote for judicial nominees and rejected partisan obstruction," Majority Leader Bill Frist said. "This vote marks another step forward in restoring fairness to the judicial nominations process." "Judge Alito is extraordinarily well-qualified to serve on our nation's highest court, and America is fortunate that this good and humble man is willing to serve," President Bush said in a statement after the vote. "I look forward to the Senate voting to confirm Sam Alito." Nineteen Democrats joined 53 Republicans to turn back the parliamentary maneuver aimed at denying Judge Alito a final vote on the Senate floor. No Republican supported the filibuster attempt.
 
Al-Zawahri calls Bush a 'butcher' Al Qaeda's second-in-command, Ayman al-Zawahri, said in a videotape aired yesterday that President Bush was a "butcher" and a "failure" because of a deadly U.S. air strike in Pakistan that targeted him and then threatened a new attack on the United States. A U.S. counterterrorism official said there was no reason to doubt the authenticity of the tape, which U.S. intelligence officials were analyzing. The official said the message broadcast by Al Jazeera showed that al Qaeda thinks it is important to convey that al-Zawahri is alive. In Washington, FBI Special Agent Richard Kolko said the bureau will ask agents across the United States to review ongoing cases and tips in light of the new tape, especially with two major events this week -- the State of the Union in Washington and the Super Bowl in Detroit.
 
Al-Zawahri, shown in the video wearing white robes and a white turban, said that a Jan. 13 air strike in the eastern Pakistani village of Damadola killed "innocents" and that the United States had ignored an offer from al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden for a truce. "Butcher of Washington, you are not only defeated and a liar, but also a failure. You are a curse on your own nation, and you have brought and will bring them only catastrophes and tragedies," he said, referring to Mr. Bush. "Bush, do you know where I am? I am among the Muslim masses." In a portion of the video not aired on Al Jazeera, the al Qaeda deputy even invited the U.S. president to convert to Islam as a way to repent for his actions.
 
Abducted reporter shown on videotape Al Jazeera aired a new videotape yesterday of kidnapped U.S. journalist Jill Carroll, showing her wearing an Islamic veil and weeping as she purportedly appealed for the release of female Iraqi prisoners. The video was dated Saturday, two days after the U.S. military released five Iraqi female detainees. U.S. officials said the release had nothing to do with the kidnappers' demands. The video had no sound except for a single noncommittal phrase uttered by Miss Carroll, but the Al Jazeera newscaster said Miss Carroll appealed to the U.S. military and the Iraqi Interior Ministry to free all women in their prisons and said this "would help in winning her release."
 
The U.S. military released five Iraqi women on Thursday and was believed be holding several more. It was not clear how many women were held by Iraqi authorities. If the date is correct, it would be the first sighting of Miss Carroll since a Jan. 20 deadline her captors set in an earlier video, threatening to kill her if all Iraqi women weren't released from U.S. and Iraqi prisons. The deadline passed with no word on her fate amid widespread calls from Iraqi and Islamic leaders for her to be freed. At one point, Miss Carroll's cracking voice can be heard from behind the newscaster's voice. All that can be heard is Miss Carroll saying, "hope for the families." The name of the group that has claimed responsibility for the abduction, the Revenge Brigades, appeared in the top left corner of the video aired yesterday.
 
Armed men abducted Miss Carroll, a 28-year-old freelance reporter for the Christian Science Monitor, on Jan. 7 in Baghdad.
 
Savings rate plunges to 72-year low Americans are spending everything they are making and more, pushing the national savings rate to the lowest point since the Great Depression. Soaring home prices apparently have convinced people they don't need to worry about saving, a belief that could be seriously tested as 78 million baby boomers begin to retire. The Commerce Department reported yesterday that Americans' personal savings fell into negative territory at minus 0.5 percent last year. That means that people not only spent all of their after-tax income last year but also had to dip into previous savings or increase their borrowing. 
 
The savings rate has been negative for an entire year only twice before -- in 1932 and 1933, two years when Americans were having to deplete savings to cope with the massive job layoffs and business failures caused by the Great Depression. This time the reasons for the negative savings rate are vastly different. Americans are spending all their incomes and then some because they feel wealthier with the soaring value of their homes, which for many Americans is the largest investment they own. The Commerce Department reported yesterday that consumer spending for December rose by 0.9 percent, more than double the 0.4 percent increase in incomes last month. Analysts cautioned that a saving decline is risky at a time when 78 million Americans are on the verge of retirement. The baby boomers start turning 60 this year, which means they can begin retiring with Social Security in two years.
 
This Sunday's the Superbowl! Alexander Leaves Seattle Cocoon, Enters America's Grandest Sports Stage DETROIT (AP) - The league MVP, rushing leader and touchdown record-setter comes to the Super Bowl, and isn't even the most-recognized running back at the game. For Shaun Alexander, that figures. "I never felt like I was completely overlooked. I was always just one of the other guys," Alexander said Monday, Day 1 of him being the other guy this week behind Pittsburgh Steelers star and Detroit native Jerome Bettis. Bettis may be retiring after Sunday's game. But Alexander, the best little-known player in the land, will play on. And he has many games to play.
 
One is chess. Alexander enjoys beating teammates, friends - everyone except Erik Anderson. Alexander said the Seattle-area entrepreneur and founder of the American Foundation for Chess is the last person to beat him at one of his many loves outside of football. "Yep, first or second week of the season. But he got lucky," Alexander said, feigning disgust. Chess is just one of the many sides to Alexander that the nation never sees. Much of it remembers Alexander for lashing out at Mike Holmgren after the 2004 regular-season finale against Atlanta. Instead of giving Alexander the ball from the 1 in a bid to tie for the rushing title, Holmgren called a quarterback sneak that Matt Hasselbeck scored on what turned out to be Seattle's final possession. Alexander finished a yard behind the New York Jets' Curtis Martin and infamously said Holmgren "stabbed me in the back" - an incident both men now say was overblown.
 
Much of the nation doesn't know Alexander has a foundation in his name that focuses on leadership and character modeling for fatherless, teenage men. "I love seeing young men go finish high school, going to college, getting married. It's a great honor to help kids do that," he said.
 
Humor ... well, sort of anyway...

Dog in a bun

A kindergarten teacher gave her class a "show and tell" assignment. Each student was instructed to bring in an object to share with the class that represented their religion. The first student got up in front of the class and said, "My name is Benjamin and I am Jewish and this is a Star of David."

The second student got up in front of the class and said, "My name is Mary. I'm a Catholic and this is a Rosary."
 
The third student got in up front of the class and said, "My name is Tommy. I am Lutheran, and this is a casserole."

Tom's Guide To Ideology & Economics 

A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor. Then you covet it.

A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his.

A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous and Barbara Streisand sings for you.

A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. And the problem is ... ?

A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it and then it is expensive and sour.

A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage which ultimately blows up the cows.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the 2 cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts that you have reduced your expenses. Your stock goes up.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch, and drink red wine; life is good.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Though follow orders, they also unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. You produce your 10th, 5-year plan in the last 3 months. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge for storing them for others. If they give milk, you tell no one.

A TALIBAN CORPORATION: You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which is two. You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts. At night when no one is looking, you sneak in and do milk them.  Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew them up while they were in the hospital.

A POLISH CORPORATION: You have two bulls. Several people are killed while attempting to milk them.

A FLORIDA CORPORATION: You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who like the brown one best vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state show up and tell you which really was the best looking one.

A NEW YORK CORPORATION: You have fifteen million cows. You have to choose which one will be the leader of the herd, so you pick a fat cow from Arkansas.

ARTHUR ANDERSON'S COWS: You have 2 cows. You depreciate all three, sell the other 4 into a blind trust, book the entire profit on all 11 cows into a 44 cow trust enabling a profit to be earned from the entire herd of over 100 cows ... you somehow don't go to jail.

 ***************
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Former heavyweight wrestler, Corp. CEO & volunteer for Pres. Bush's Faith-Based Initiative, Tom Marsland's the host of Tom's Place from 3-6 PM CST on 95.9 FM & AM 1300 in the Twin Cities, and is now president-elect of the win Cities Republican Association. Tom writes cultural, political & religious commentary for numerous publications, is heard weekly as U.S. correspondent to New Zealand's Nation-wide Radio Rhema & daily on African Public Radio, the only radio option for 100 million English speaking Africans.

Ecclesiastes 10:2: "The heart of the wise inclines to the right,
but the heart of the fool to the left."

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